Being a Phillies fan is dangerous

I imagine watching the Phillies cling desperately to a two-run lead while trailing the World Series three games to one is just about as bad for your heart as eating a pound of bacon every day for a year. When Madsen finally got that third out, I reflexively lunged out of my chair and did two somersaults, spun around on my butt like a breakdancer and landed flat on my face, where I exhaled for about 30 seconds. My heart has been steadily pounding for about an hour now, and even though our team has successfully kept hope alive for another two days, it will probably continue to pound harder than usual.

For the next 48 hours the regular "thump-thump, thump-thump, thump-thump," of my heart will be replaced with, "Base-ball, Phil-lies, Ut-ley." My thoughts will naturally drift to who the game seven starter will be, if it gets that far, because Cole Hamels has his head in the clouds and Cliff Lee won't be ready to go for a start since he threw like 112 pitches tonight, and putting JA Happ in there is a risk because he's Rookie of the Year, but he's still a rookie... ahhhh, I'm thinking about it right now.

The only thing that calms me down right now is watching and re-watching the above clip. Chase Utley driving a three-run homer in the first to pounce on the stupid Yankees. Chase Utley hitting his first of two home runs of the night, on a night where he tied Reggie "Mr. October" Jackson for most homers in a World Series. (That record would be five, by the way.) Yes ladies and gentlemen, Chase Utley is the only thing that can keep us calm until then... Go Phillies.

Phillies are World Series bound!

Jayson Werth, everyone.

PHILLIES WIN!!!!!1!11!!@!! WOOOOOOO!!!!!

Take that, city we now live in! Ha! You suck! Look at Manny Ramirez, all sad and stupid with his ugly dreadlocks.

Rhi's Rhimark: Everyone says Ramirez is so great, but he poops just like everyone else. And it smells.

Well said, Rhi. That's why I love you.

Phillies lead the series 1-0. Now I just have to try and not get overly excited. I will be talking a lot of trash tomorrow, though.

A Phillies game and a lot of jeans

The other night, Rhi, Sarah, Steve and I all went to the Phillies/Dodgers game. I was hopeful, because the Phillies were due for a win, and it was the only time I'd get to see them play in person for the rest of the year. As for the other three... well, they were no help at all.

Rhi doesn't know anything about baseball, and when I tried to explain the rules she just said she was bored and wanted me to stop. Steve isn't a particularly big fan of the sport and just clapped for anything that happened on the field. As for Sarah, she was cheering for Drexel University for some reason. So really, I was the only one who felt the pain of the Phillies boring 3-1 loss.

Dodger Dogs are overrated, too. Here's some photos captured with a camera phone.



And because there's nowhere else to put this, here's a funny story. Rhianwen helped Sarah clean out her closet recently, and this is what they found.

That's right: 19 pairs of jeans. 19. Pairs. Of jeans. To be fair, its due to the fact that Sarah never throws clothes away, not that she is a compulsive shopper. It's possible that some of them date back to her undergrad days and others are strictly construction site jeans (Sarah is a geological engineer). But still. Nineteen. It was impressive to see them cover the bed.

Benner's List of Things We'll Miss While We're Away From Philadelphia No. 1: Phillies Games

So if you've looked at this blog once or twice, you probably figured out that we're moving to Los Angeles soon. It's kind of a big deal, so don't be surprised if it's the primary focus around these parts over the next little while.

But if you get the idea from reading this blog that we're kind of excited to get to California and be in nice weather with Sarah and Steve, don't be fooled; it's exciting and all, but we're also kind of sad to be leaving. There's a lot of stuff we're going to miss, and we're already starting to feel the pangs of East Coast yearning. So in the spirit of missing things, I (Benner) have decided to keep a running list of things that we're going to, uh, miss. Each day (or each time I feel like doing it) I am going to write about one thing I'll miss while we are on the Left Coast living it up. Of course, our friends and families go without saying, so we're going to just leave them off the list. I'll talk about you guys somewhere else, I promise.

Without further ado, please enjoy the first installment of Benner's List of Things We'll Miss While We're Away From Philadelphia™ (BLOTWMWWAFP for short).

1. Phillies Games - For only the second time since 1994, people are saying the Phillies are a serious playoff contender and it doesn't feel like a dirty, dirty lie. But even if the Phillies suck (as they often do), going to Citizens Bank Park is always a treat. Day games are fantastic; skipping work to catch a game, drink a couple of beers, eat hot dogs and nap in the warm sun while millionaires play a children's game 50 yards away is a unique and awesome experience. Night games are great too; you skip out of work a little early, drink a couple of beers, eat hot dogs and cheer on the millionaires playing a children's game 50 yards away underneath the bright stadium lights that make the grass look so green it's like God's front yard. If you're lucky, it's late August and the Phils are in the thick of the playoff hunt, making every game, inning, at bat or even swing feel like life and death.

Alas, I will not be here to see Ryan Howard nail some dingers, nor will I see Pat Burrell stop caring mid-season or the dreamy Chase Utley be chased by every white girl in the stadium. No, I will be in Los Angeles, home of the Dodgers and the All You Can Eat Stadium. Oh, the humanity. All I have to look forward to is August 11 through the 14, when the Phillies will be visiting the Dodgers for a four-game stint and the distinct possibility that they will be battling each other for playoff supremacy.

At least then I'll be able to eat all the hot dogs I want.